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by:Peggy Warren
There are many myths regarding clergy sexual
abuse that must be dispelled, the foremost being that little boys make up the majority of clergy abuse victims.
The reality is that experts have concluded and research shows that adults make up the largest number of victims of clergy
sexual abuse. Richard Sipe, psychotherapist and former Benedictine monk and priest, estimates that four times
as many priests prey on adults as on minors.
The reason behind the myth is silence.
Silence embedded by shame and instilled into the adult victims by their perpetrators and by faith communities. Shame
initiated from the thought that they must have done something in order for this "man of God" to be driven to
sin, and reinforced by the churches when the first response is to announce that the relationship was a "consensual affair".
There is nothing consensual about a clergyman having sexual relations with a parishioner under his care. The act is a
violation, a sexual exploitation, an abuse of power and in 9 states it is a crime. It is a breach of the clergyman's
fiduciary duty to his parishioner, very similar to other professionals that hold a position of power. In professional
relationships such as a doctor/patient or student/teacher relationship breaching that fiduciary duty is criminal offense in
numerous states. A fiduciary relationship is one based on automatic trust, where a professional holds the highest standard
of care upon another individual in need. A trust that does not have to be earned but a trust that is instilled in a person
from a very early age.
Which leads me to another myth regarding sexual assault in general.
A sexual assault does not have to the violent, broken bones, scar leaving assault, which is what usually first comes
to a person's mind when hearing of a sexual assault. I believe all sexual assaults are violent whether the scars
are obvious or not. The majority of sexual assaults upon adults by clergy are preceded by a grooming process that lays
the foundation for an unsuspecting victim to be easy prey. The psychological scars that are left when a clergyman sexually
exploits his parishioner are deep, life altering and life everlasting.
I
had the privilege of being a co-presentor at the National NOW (National Organization of Women) Conference in Detroit,
MI., July 13-14. I spoke of the importance to get clergy added to the list of professionals on fiduciary duty laws in
all 50 states. But in order to do that these myths need to be broken so that more women can find their voice and speak
out about their pain and suffering at the hands of their most trusted confidant, their clergyman. NOW recognizes that
the sexual exploitation of parishioners by clergy is an enormous problem that must be addressed and now the public needs
acknowledge the problem by lobbying our legislators and urging them to support bills that would include clergy in
fiduciary duty laws.
My co-presenters at the NOW workshop are actively working with sexual abuse
crisis centers in their home states of Virginia and Washington to bring greater awareness of this problem to their local
communities. The sexual violence alliances in these two states, Virginia Domestic and Sexual Violence Action Alliance
and Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, are beginning to consider outreach efforts to assist adult victims
of clergy sexual exploitation. Such educational efforts can help women realize that it wasn't their fault and
that the power differential between a clergyman and parishioner is too great. As true believers we hold these "chosen"
men of God on pedestals; therefore, never having the opportunity to be on the same playing field; therefore, never consensual.
It is my mission to educate the public of the importance of recognizing
vulnerable adult victims. These adults that make up 90% of clergy abuse victims are usually left to deal with the trauma
alone, fighting the many symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) daily while still trying to take care of their
families. They loose their religion, their trust in people, and more often then not, their marriages crumble. They sometimes
lose their jobs, as many of them worked in the churches in close proximity of the clergyman. In these situations,
once the relationship is revealed the victim is fired. The predatory clergyman is usually reassigned to a new church
with parishioners none the wiser.
Through my organization, Educating To End
Abuse, I welcome victims to tell their stories publicly. Speaking the truth and revealing the trauma endured as a result
of the despicable action of these sexual predators in the guise of "holy, celibate, men of God" is the
only way change will occur. Speaking out gives other victims the courage to find their own voice and gives them the knowledge
that they are not alone. All of these revelations will open the eyes of the public to the severity of the problem,
educating and thus fostering action and change. It will be through change in the way the public views adult victims
and change within the faith communities in how they handle abuse situations and change within legislation that will
give rise to the long over due justice that adult victims of clergy abuse deserve.
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Dec.
3, 2007
There Should Be No Statute of Limitations on Childhood Sexual Abuse
Last year Missouri's
State Supreme Court ruled that the statute of limitations for filing childhood sexual abuse lawsuits starts when the victims
are capable of realizing the damage they suffered and not when the crime was committed. That ruling was a step in the right
direction but better yet Missouri should have abolished the statute all together. In an ideal world there would be a federal
ruling enacting legislation that would put an end to all state statutes of limitations on childhood sexual abuse. Unfortunately
the way things are playing out, we are going to have to fight this battle state by state.
Neighboring Nebraska has no
statute of limitations on sexual abuse, as well as Alaska and Maine and other states are following that same wise course of
legislation. Delaware is the most recent state that has abolished its statute of limitations, before that California. Many
other states have recently introduced legislation that would abolish the statute or greatly lengthen the statute, including
the great state of Kansas. As the Kansas statute stands now a victim of childhood sexual abuse has 3 yrs from the age
of 18 yrs to file a lawsuit. Ironically if personal property is damaged or destroyed a person has 23 yrs to file a civil lawsuit.
In Kansas you can find justice within 23 yrs if your car is damaged but if someone damages your body and mind you are out
of luck after the age of 21. The majority of victims of childhood sexual abuse are not even remotely ready to psychologically
deal with the trauma from the past abuse until much later in life. Legislation is pending that would lengthen the Kansas Statute
of limitation on childhood sexual abuse by 23 yrs. Some will argue that this legislation is going against the Catholic
Church which is so far from reality. The number of victims of incest far out number the victims of clergy sexual abuse. As
many as 90% of victims of childhood sexual abuse are as a result of incest. There is an epidemic of sexually abusing children
that has gone on for years, now is the time to finally give some justice to the millions of victims that have lived their
lives with pain, fear and trauma. Contact your local legislators and tell them that you are for the lengthening of the statute
of limitations on childhood sexual abuse, a step in the right direction of abolishing the statute all together.
Thank you Ron and Sheryl
For over a year I have had the privledge of being given the opportunity to educate the public
on sexual abuse through the show, "The River City Forum" on local Channel 5. Once a month Ron and Sheryl Nutt allow
me a slot on the show in order to spread awareness about the epidemic of sexual abuse in our society. I have coined the slot,
'Educating To End Abuse', which is also the name of my website. The show is usually aired on the third Thursday of
the month at 7:00 p.m. central time. On the show, some of the guests have included victims of clergy sexual abuse that are
telling their story for the first time. Other guests have included legislators and groups that are working on passing legislation
that would lengthen the statute of limitations on childhood sexual abuse, as well as therapists speaking of the various effects
resulting from the trauma of sexual abuse. The topic of sexual abuse is a difficult one to talk about but without addressing
the issue nothing will ever change. The sexual abuse of children must change, the vicious cycle must be stopped. The damage
that is done to these children is life long and costs society as a whole. Yet if more people like Ron and Sheyl would be willing
to take even small steps towards education and awareness to the problem, change can be made to make our society a safer place
to live. Simply by being aware of the warning signs of predators and notifying authorities when something looks wrong or calling
your legislators to ask them for stronger laws to punish sexual predators along with laws that would bring justice to victims,
can bring positive change. Thank you, Ron and Sheryl, for having the courage and strength to address such a difficult topic.
You are wonderful examples for all of us. For more information about the show you can go to www.kctu.com or www.educatingtoendabuse.com.
For over a year I have had the privledge of being given
the opportunity to educate the public on sexual abuse through the show, "The River City Forum" on local Channel
5. Once a month Ron and Sheryl Nutt allow me a slot on the show in order to spread awareness about the epidemic of sexual
abuse in our society. I have coined the slot, 'Educating To End Abuse', which is also the name of my website. The
show is usually aired on the third Thursday of the month at 7:00 p.m. central time. On the show, some of the guests have included
victims of clergy sexual abuse that are telling their story for the first time. Other guests have included legislators and
groups that are working on passing legislation that would lengthen the statute of limitations on childhood sexual abuse, as
well as therapists speaking of the various effects resulting from the trauma of sexual abuse. The topic of sexual abuse is
a difficult one to talk about but without addressing the issue nothing will ever change. The sexual abuse of children must
change, the vicious cycle must be stopped. The damage that is done to these children is life long and costs society as a whole.
Yet if more people like Ron and Sheyl would be willing to take even small steps towards education and awareness to the problem,
change can be made to make our society a safer place to live. Simply by being aware of the warning signs of predators and
notifying authorities when something looks wrong or calling your legislators to ask them for stronger laws to punish sexual
predators along with laws that would bring justice to victims, can bring positive change. Thank you, Ron and Sheryl, for having
the courage and strength to address such a difficult topic. You are wonderful examples for all of us. For more information
about the show you can go to www.kctu.com or www.educatingtoendabuse.com.
Sept. 11th, 2007
Peggy J. Warren
San Diego Catholic Diocese Settlement Has a Wichita Connection
On Friday,
Sept. 7th, the San Diego Catholic Diocese settled wiith 144 abuse claimants for 198.1 million after 4 years of negotiations.
The San Diego settlement comes just a little over a month after the Los Angeles Diocese settled with 172 abuse claimants for
$660 million dollars. It was back in Feb. that the San Diego Diocese filed for bankruptcy hours before the first
of the trials were to begin. The effect from that move in the concurrent re-victimization by the San Diego Diocese
for the past 4 yrs. had a huge impact on all of the victims, including a man who once called Wichita home.
Michael Shoemaker was 16 yr old when he and a friend were hitchhiking in the rain in El Centro, California, when Fr. John
Daly picked them up and offered to let them spend the night at the church. In the middle of the night, Michael
awoke to Daly orally copulating him, he immediately pushed the priest off him and yelled at his friend that they needed to
get out of there. After Michael vomited on the side of the road, the friends went directly to the Holtville, CA
police station and reported the incident. When police went back to the church to investigate, Daly opened the door totally
naked. Shoemaker passed a polygraph test administered two days later, yet no charges were ever filed against Daly.
Since that traumatic night, Michael has fought for some sort of justice from the Catholic
Church and feels like he found a piece of justice with the help of the court system in California. Michael said, "
I hope the church learned something from this. Had they not intervened in the case on Daly's behalf and let him
face justice like everyone else, I wouldn't have sued them."
It is quite common
for a victim to believe the church will take care of the problem but learn years later that nothing was ever done or the perpetrator
priest was just moved to another parish. Similarly in Michael's case, he states, "I was stunned when I
learned back in 2002 that Daly had done no jail time."
As far as his feelings towards the
San Diego Catholic Diocese, Michael said, "I was stunned repeatedly over the past 4 years as the San Diego diocese
fought victims at every turn, only settling the cases when it was apparent that trials could no longer be avoided. I am saddened,
angered and disappointed by the conduct of San Diego diocese in this matter beyond words. The diocese's public statements
about helping victims and the actions and words of some of their attorneys behind the scenes are diametrically opposed."
Michael hopes for understanding, an awakening of sorts, "I'm glad it's over and I
hope that the public understands that when a corporation chooses to pay out $198 million dollars instead of going
to trial for a fair airing of the facts, that it can only mean one thing."
Michael has found some relief in the settlement but that does not erase the years of torment, fear, anxiety and mistrust in
people - just some of the multipe effects endured by all victims of all childhood sexual abuse. Michael said, "I hope
and pray that this causes them to seriously re-evaluate their former sordid practices. This has cost me many, many years of
my life."
Michael is thankful for the help he has received during the course of this tumultuous
journey. He said, "We had fantastic attorneys. They fought hard with no guarantee of ever getting paid while the
diocese threw millions at numerous legal teams. Without them and the Good Lord I wouldn't have made it through this process."
I too hope the Catholic Church and all denominations learn from these long, drawn out cases
like San Diego. If churches would step up from the onset of the abuse and be accountable for their actions and the actions
of those they employ to minister for them, it would save everyone a tremendous amount of time, energy, money and heartache.
|  | August
27th 2007
Peggy Warren
Clergy
Sexual Abuse: Not as Isolated as the Catholic Church Would Like People to Believe Since first coming to the
stark realization that the church I loved so much had a huge, dark, evil skeleton in it's closet, I have been astonished
at the number of cases of clergy sexual abuse within the Roman Catholic Church. These cases are not just from 20-30 yrs ago,
the abuse is still happening today and unfortunately the Catholic Church is still trying to silence the victims and minimize
the abuse. Why and how are the first questions that come to mind when I think of the thousands of children and vulnerable
adults that have been abused by Catholic priests. Why would Catholic Bishops continue to allow pedophiles around children
and how can they sacrifice a child's life for a child rapist by continuing to place him around children. Since
first coming to the stark realization that the church I loved so much had a huge, dark, evil skeleton in it's closet,
I have been astonished at the number of cases of clergy sexual abuse within the Roman Catholic Church. These cases are not
just from 20-30 yrs ago, the abuse is still happening today and unfortunately the Catholic Church is still trying to silence
the victims and minimize the abuse. Why and how are the first questions that come to mind when I think of the thousands of
children and vulnerable adults that have been abused by Catholic priests. Why would Catholic Bishops continue to allow pedophiles
around children and how can they sacrifice a child's life for a child rapist by continuing to place him around children.
In 2002, the Catholic Bishops Conference adopted the Dallas Charter for the protection of children and young
people which includes a zero tolerance policy for abusers, essentially 'one strike and your out'. Unfortunately from
bishop's track records from across the country, since the Charter, it seems as though the policy was just words on paper
not backed up by any action. We witnessed probably the most astonishing case of a church leader dismissing the charter in
Feb, 2006 when the story broke of Archbishop Francis George of the Chicago Archdiocese leaving in ministry known abuser, Fr.
Daniel McCormack. The mother of the one of the abused boys went to the Archdiocese in Sept. of 2005 and reported the abuse
but the Archbishop allowed McCormack to stay in ministry for several more months. McCormack continued to abuse other minors
during those months. Only after formal charges were made was McCormack removed from ministry. The real tragedy in all of this
is the lives of these young boys did not have to be sacrificed if the Archdiocese would have removed Daniel McCormack when
they first realized of his abuse of minors back in his seminary days. In July of 2007, McCormack pleaded guilty to 5 counts
of aggravated sexual abuse and was sentenced to 5 yrs in prison. The guilty plea insured that the Archdiocese would not have
to testify about their outrageous mishandling of the case. Just in the last two months the Abuse Tracker,(www.bishop-accountability.org/AbuseTracker/)
a blog which lists the daily clergy abuse news articles, has listed nine articles pertaining to victims of adult clergy sexual
abuse reporting alleged recent abuse. This doesn't include all of the articles that appear daily regarding abuse of minors,
nor the victims that contact me on a weekly basis through my website, www.educatingtoendabuse.com.. I have been averaging
one new adult woman victim contacting me each week for roughly the past two months. It is as if a snowball effect has occurred,
or as Dr.Marie Fortune, founder of the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence in Seattle, WA., states that
once the women start coming forward it will be a 'tsunami' in comparison to the number of child clergy abuse cases.
Since coming forward about my own abuse I have been told that one of my aunts was molested as a child by a Catholic
priest in the Wichita Diocese, that a college friend was molested as a child in Boston by a Catholic priest and a co-worker's
husband was molested by a Catholic priest in the Kansas City Archdiocese. Clergy sexual abuse cases are not even remotely
isolated, victims of clergy sexual abuse are everywhere. Recently while looking for a self-help book at Border's Book
Store, I asked a sales woman if she could help me find a book about getting over trauma, she asked if I would be more specific,
so I told her the trauma was related to clergy sexual abuse. What do you know, ...she was abused at summer camp by a seminarian.
I know this sounds all too crazy but reality is truly stranger than fiction. When you hear of a person being hurt by a clergyman
don't turn your back and remain silent like the Catholic hierarchy, reach out to that person and show them that there
are people that care about victims of clergy sexual abuse. It is the silence that continues to foster the abuse |
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